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| The only photo of myself I'm allowed to show |
That's really about all I am these days.
She says that I'm allowed to leave at any time, and yes I could just walk right off the property. But I don't have anything to my name, no money, no identification, no clothing.
The fact is that I have a free place to stay, and it's pretty nice place. I have free meals, and generally, I'm well taken care of.
Instead, all my focus now is on acceptance. Accept my place, accept the man/boy she wants me to be, and be happy with it.
How I Got Here
So, Dave took me to a party that he described as being attended by "power players". These were busisness owners and investors, in a variety of industries, but they all had thing in common. They were women who liked to dominate men.I was confused, because Dave and I had been dating. I didn't think it was his "bag" to be around dominant femmes. But the party was wild. There were naked guys in restraints and chains, being caned and cropped. Some women wore full leather suits. Others stood in business-like attire. One woman walked around with a black-strapon dildo around her waist.
Drinks were flowing everywhere. Others were lighting up smokes. I'm sure there were other variants of imbibe and introduction going on. I do remember several women approaching me, some holding up my chin to give me a good look, some grabbing my ass. I lost track of Dave somewhere in the highs and lows of it all.
I woke up the next morning laying on a couch in the same house where the party took place. Except, everyone else was gone, including Dave. My clothes were gone too. I was as naked as one could get.
When Ms. Julia finally greeted me, I assumed she would arrange for Dave to pick me up. Instead, she explained that I would be staying in the guest house while she went out for the day. I asked her for my clothes, and I asked about Dave. She said that Dave would be picking me up later on, and that she'd have her maid Fatima find my clothes.
Ten months later, and Dave still has not come by to pick me up. Nor have my clothes, cellphone, wallet, have ever been found.
How Things Are Now
I started this blog because I got really bored. I've been mentioned to Fatima how much I hate watching television, and how there's nothing to do around here when Ms. Julia is out. Finally, Fatima approached Ms. Julia about getting me a laptop so that I can write, and do stuff online.She agreed, but she goes through the laptop every so often to check on things. She doesn't mind the blog as long as there's no identifying information at all, and even at that, she wants to approve each blog post before it publishes.
Basically, I'm given a free place to stay. I have meals prepared for me. My health is well taken care of. I'm well protected from harm. I'm put on a strict diet and exercise regimen.
In exchange, Ms. Julia has the right to control every aspect of my life and body. It sounds like a lot of give up, but like everything else, you get used to it. It's not like she's beating me, branding me, maiming me, etc. But it's not exactly a walk in the park either.
I do her fingernails and toenails. I massage her daily. I wash her in the shower and tub. I comfort her when she feels down. We watch whatever she wants to watch on television. I feed cherries and popcorn to her. When she's angry about something, she wants to swat me with her crop or paddle, not because of anything I did, but because she needs to get it out of her, and because it's a great opportunity to maintain her dominance. She has fun dressing me in lingerie, and other times goes into long hours of photographing me in various ways.
When she wants sex, she uses me as a masturbation tool. She doesn't like to be made love to. She doesn't like to be fucked either, rather, she likes to do the fucking. For her, it's more about establishing her dominance, engulfing me while she extracts my seed by force.
Sex is really just a small aspect to all this. This isn't like roleplay where a man can give up control, yet still have control when it stops. This is more about creating her feminist ideal at home and sharing it with her friends, and somehow make some small influence on the world.
Ms. Julia has this idea of what the world should really be like in terms of gender roles. She sincerely believes that women are better managers, better leaders, and have a better balance between intellect and emotions. A man's role, she says, is to provide physical strength to a woman's leadership abilities.
But I am hardly any example of a physical specimen. I'm underweight actually. I'm slender, somewhat frail by looks, and very boyish.
She doesn't want any muscle from me anyway. She's plenty well built, and she can put forth a formidable presence.
